Why It's Okay to Be Selfish at Christmas: Insights from a Therapist

As the holiday season approaches, we're often reminded of the importance of selflessness and giving to others. We're encouraged to embrace the spirit of generosity, compassion, and goodwill towards all. While these values are undoubtedly admirable and should be practiced year-round, it's also essential to recognize the significance of prioritizing our own well-being and happiness during the Christmas season. Contrary to popular belief, being selfish at Christmas can actually be a healthy and necessary act of self-care.
As a therapist, I have witnessed the toll that the holiday season can take on individuals' mental health. The pressures of finding the perfect gifts, hosting elaborate gatherings, and meeting the expectations of others can be overwhelming. In our quest to make everyone else happy, we often neglect our own needs and end up feeling drained and depleted. This is where being selfish comes into play.

Being selfish doesn't mean disregarding the needs and feelings of others completely. It simply means recognizing and honoring our own needs without guilt or shame. It means setting boundaries and taking steps to protect our mental and emotional well-being. By doing so, we can approach the holiday season with a renewed sense of joy, peace, and authenticity.

Here are a few reasons why it's okay to be selfish at Christmas:

1. Self-Care is Essential: Just as we're instructed to put on our oxygen masks first before assisting others on an airplane, we must prioritize self-care to be able to give our best to those around us. Taking time for ourselves allows us to recharge, refocus, and show up as the best versions of ourselves for our loved ones.

2. Boundaries Foster Healthy Relationships: Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. By being clear about our limits and what we can and cannot do, we prevent burnout and resentment from building up. Communicating our boundaries effectively allows us to protect our own well-being while still being present for the people we care about.

3. Authenticity Breeds Connection: When we embrace our true selves and honor our own needs, we create an environment that encourages others to do the same. By being selfish in a healthy way, we inspire others to embrace their own self-care and authenticity. This fosters deeper, more meaningful connections with those around us.

4. Quality Over Quantity: Christmas is often associated with excess – excessive gifts, excessive food, and excessive gatherings. However, by being selfish, we can shift our focus from quantity to quality. We can prioritize meaningful experiences, heartfelt conversations, and moments of genuine connection. By doing so, we create memories that truly matter.

5. Embracing Imperfection: The holiday season can be stressful, and striving for perfection only adds to the pressure. Being selfish at Christmas means letting go of unrealistic expectations and embracing imperfection. It means giving ourselves permission to enjoy the festivities without constantly striving for an unattainable level of perfection.

Let's remember that being selfish at Christmas is not about being self-centered or disregarding others. It's about recognizing our own needs, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care. By doing so, we can create a healthier, more balanced holiday season that benefits not only ourselves but also those we love. So, this Christmas, let's give ourselves the gift of self-love and self-compassion. It's okay to be selfish; in fact, Father Christmas is demanding it!!!!   Ho Ho Ho!!